


Chill

by impudentmugwump (frontierpodiatrist)



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, Birthright Route, F/F, F/M, Flora POV, Kidnapping, Sickness, Suicide, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-06
Updated: 2018-03-06
Packaged: 2019-03-27 23:23:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13891323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frontierpodiatrist/pseuds/impudentmugwump
Summary: Flora has been left behind by the war, by her sister, by her love, by her liege.But she can’t let her resolve crumble.She can’t.





	Chill

She is born silent.

Her sister cries right away.

There is frost in her hair and snow webbing from her fingertips before she even learns how to speak. Her sister handles a blade like another part of her arm, slipping from her grip to strike the red target their father set up against the pine tree next to their home. When he reaches out to give her a pat on the head of praise, Flora averts her eyes.

She doesn't feel the cold settling into her bones when she dips her body in the ice water lake in the center of her village. Her sister watches her from the shore bank blinking big blue eyes before their father calls them inside for supper. “Flora,” her sister calls her name quietly after their father has put them to bed. “Can you teach me to make blizzards too?”

She sighs, rucks up the covers, and turns over. “Tomorrow. Good night, Felicia.”

It is settling into the afternoon sun when Felicia begins to form the smallest fractals in her palm. “Flora!” she yells, even though they are facing one another. “Flora, look!” The formation begins to melt before she can even respond. “Yes, I saw. Good job, Felicia.” She sees rather than feels the shadow of someone at her back, sees Felicia’s face break into recognition and then confusion. “Father? What is it?” Though she knows from Felicia’s words it’s no stranger, she can’t help the ominous shiver that racks through her whole body. When she turns to face him he pulls them into his arms in a bone crushing hug.

“Father? What’s wrong?”

She feels it when he sighs a sob.

Something terrible has happened.

Later that night as he is packing their things, he sends Felicia away. She asks too many questions he cannot bear to answer. Flora does not ask anything. She already knows. “Flora,” her back springs upward like a coil. “I know you can tell what’s happening. You’ve always been a sharp girl. Please, don’t tell Felicia. I don’t know how she would take it.” Flora swallows. “Yes, father.” He gathers her in his arms when she shakes. “You will be a good chieftain someday, Flora. I’m proud of you.” She swallows over the lump in her throat when she speaks. “Thank you, father.” She doesn’t know how to deal with the praise so when he looks away she quickly shuffles out.

Felicia is waiting for her when she enters their bedroom. She is sitting cross legged on her bed, lips upturned in a pout. “What’s wrong with father? Has something happened?” Flora doesn’t answer until she’s slipped into her night clothes but Felicia doesn’t seem bothered by the lack of an answer. “We’re going away. The two of us. He wants us to learn to be independent. It will be a good learning experience.” Felicia bristles like she’s prepared for an argument but when their eyes meet she simply smiles. Her eyebrows are furrowed to the point it seems pained, so Flora can’t help but offer an exasperated one in return.

“Go to sleep Felicia, we have a long day tomorrow.”

Flora doesn’t sleep that night.

Their father comes to wake them early, rushing them outside with a sparse package of their things. Felicia is barely awake when they are pushed into the grouping of men outside. There is no one outside aside from them, their father, and the men they are to leave with. Felicia seems to notice, when she drops her voice low as they leave the village. “Where is everybody? Aren’t they going to wish us goodbye?” Flora looks back for only a second, sees the heartbroken look on their father’s face, and turns away. “It’s early, Felicia. They’re still asleep. Keep your head down and don’t speak.” She recognizes the hurt in Felicia’s eyes, but there is nothing she can do. She is hurting too. She suspects she will be, for a long time.

The beds they are given are admittedly better than what she expected. They tell her she is to be the retainer and servant to Lady Corrin. She does not recognize the name but Flora makes it her mission to hate her with every fiber of her being for what she has robbed from her. Felicia takes everything in stride and excitement, the other servants find her joy odd, she suspects they are not here of their own will either. The uniform is snug, feathers uncomfortably tickling and choking her neck. If Felicia feels similar discomfort, she says nothing, and they are collected to meet their new liege.

She is different than Flora expected.

Sharp teeth and ears, eyes big and red and slit like a lizard’s. she is beautiful, if not otherworldly so, Flora can admit that much. She looks at her and thinks,  _ this is the person that stole your freedom,  _ this is the person that stole from you, from Felicia, who is shaking her hand. Flora snatches her hand away instinctually, “that’s not how you behave in front of your mistress, Felicia,” the excuse falls from her lips as easy as ice falls from her open palms. “Milady,” she says the title sickly sweet, bending over to bow. “It is a delight to be acquainted with you.” Felicia stumbles to mimic the greeting, desperately fumbling over her words. Flora envies her then, her cluelessness, her happiness. She hopes Felicia doesn’t lose it.

They meet the other servants soon afterward, a boy their age named Jakob, a peculiar girl named Lilith, and an older gentleman named Gunter. When she meets Gunter’s eyes she can tell he is not here of his own will either. Lilith addresses them, her voice an odd squeak to it, “Lady Corrin cannot leave this tower at any time until decreed by King Garon, even so that doesn’t mean she lives miserably. We are here to make her stay as comfortable as possible.” Jakob speaks up to start listing her schedule but Flora isn't really listening anymore. She’s beginning to wonder if everyone in this damn castle is a prisoner.

Jakob and Lilith, she learns, might just be the only people who aren’t. They’re both happy, delighted even, to be in this castle. Jakob’s eyes light up when he speaks of Corrin, Lilith grins toothily with little sharp nubs. When they are being taught the basics she can tell from the tone of his voice there is no room for error when it comes to his liege. Flora briefly wonders how a monster can be so loved. He knows all her preferences, from how she takes her tea (with a splash of cream and three sugar cubes), to which plates of armour she prefers for training. Felicia is in awe of his dedication, his attention to detail. When it’s time for her to try making a cup she puts in salt instead of sugar, spills the hot liquid all over his lapel. The tray she’s given to balance the tea clatters to the floor when the trips, breaking the cup. It is only their first day and she can tell Jakob is exasperated. Lilith pulls Felicia to the side to train her more closely. Gunter follows them with a small chide of “you were just as bad when you first started, Jakob.” She doesn’t miss the way he bristles from the comment, but from the look on his face it is a sensitive subject. She doesn’t ask. He doesn’t tell.

“You are a born natural," he says.

She doesn’t know whether to interpret the statement as a compliment or an insult. She wants to be capable, someone for Felicia to reply on, not someone whose only skill is being subservient. The porcelain cup burns a circle into her palm but she does not feel it. “Do you not feel . . . lesser, being a servant?” Jakob looks perplexed for a moment after she speaks before he takes the cup to wash. “I did not come here voluntarily,” he says. That does not surprise her. “My parents did not want me, so they left me here. I was insubordinate, awful at anything I did, and they assigned me to Lady Corrin. She is a kind liege to have, she encouraged me and I became better. She made me capable and showed me goodness so I will gladly serve her for the rest of my days. Just because I am her servant it doesn’t make me lesser, it means I am reliable and competent in what I do. She trusts me to protect and take care of her, that is a lot of power to be given over another person.”

She doesn’t respond.

Gunter teaches them skills in combat, they are not just simply going to deal with everyday chores, he says, they are retainers, they must be prepared for all situations to assist their liege. Her stomach drops when he hands them knives. They spar for a long time, with Jakob and Gunter. Lilith is exempt, apparently, she doesn’t ask why. She supposes Lilith is a servant and not a retainer, even so Flora gets a distinct feeling Lilith is stronger than her too. “Good job, Felicia!” she can hear Gunter’s gruff voice call out when Felicia gets a good blow at his armour. She flinches from the compliment and Jakob takes the opportunity to lunge and pin her to the floor. She clenches her teeth.

It is hard to avoid someone you are meant to serve but Flora tries regardless. The problem is that Corrin does not seem content with letting Flora avoid her. She starts conversations, gently touches her arm when she wants her attention, when she makes eye contact it seems like the thin slits of her pupils grow to swallow her up. Flora really has no idea what she wants. Felicia is getting along fine, better than fine even, she seems to genuinely consider Corrin her friend. It makes Flora sick.

Corrin grows horribly ill.

They have no idea what could have caused it. She sees the royals even more now, fretfully gathered around her bed. She has never talked to them before, she doesn’t want to, but Felicia seems enamoured with the idea of being friends with a princess. It’s a pitiful sight, Corrin’s siblings huddled around her sweat soaked bed. She hopes the fever kills her.

Well, it’s obvious this is affecting Felicia more than her. Felicia is fitful, crying incessantly and absolutely inconsolable. Jakob is not that much better and neither is Lilith. She’s come to realize she might be feeling something stronger than admiration for Jakob and it’s quite frankly looking to be a problem. She doesn’t want to stay here, it will just make it more painful when she leaves. She knows somethings wrong when she wakes up and can’t find Felicia.

“ . . .  dangerous . . . Felicia . . .”

“It’s fine . . . transfer . . .”

She can hear muttering through the big oak door to Corrin’s room, Felicia and Jakob exchanging hushed whispers. She has a feeling whatever they’re talking about isn’t something they want her to hear. “What are you talking about?” she asks as soon as she walks in the door so there’s no chance to argue. Jakob silences immediately, he has nothing to say. Felicia flinches and Flora knows then that she’s up to something. “What? What have you done, Felicia?”

“I . . . I didn’t  _ do _ anything,” Felicia wrings her hands like she does when she’s guilty. “I was . . . just thinking that I could . . . transfer Corrin’s fever . . . into me.”

The outrage Flora feels in that moment is stronger than maybe anything she’s ever felt. “ **_No!_ ** That could  _ kill  _ you!” She can see Felicia flinch and open her mouth to explain. “I will not let my sister risk her life,”  _ for a monster.  _ “for a process that might not even work!” Jakob, she knows, doesn’t care unless Corrin is safe, but she could hear him warning her. She moves to escort Felicia out of the room and scold her in private when she yanks her arm away from Flora. “I can’t just do nothing!”

She crosses her arms across her chest and Flora’s heart sinks. “Corrin is my friend and my liege, I’m  _ supposed  _ to help her! If I’m no good at household chores, this is the least I can do! I’ve made up my mind, Flora!” She can tell she’s lost this battle but it doesn’t stop her from stubbornly protesting. “You could  _ die." _ Felicia juts her lip out in a pout, “we could die anytime, Flora. At least if I die for this, I die for a cause.”

She knows her expression must be bitter. Jakob is one thing, from the moment she met him she knew Corrin would always come first to him. She’d come to accept it. But, Felicia, Felicia is her sister. And this  _ leech  _ stole her sister’s love and maybe, now, even her life. “Fine,” she spit out the word like there was blood in her mouth. She wishes she could tell Felicia everything so she wouldn’t tear herself apart watching her. But she made a promise. So she just leaves.

If Felicia dies she will choke the life out of Corrin with her bare hands.

Well, she doesn’t die, but that’s about Flora’s only comfort. She gets the same fever, tossing and turning incessantly and murmuring nightmares in her haze filled dreams. Corrin recovers quickly enough, Jakob is delighted, but she quickly notices Felicia’s absence and Flora’s grim expression. She asks, “where’s Felicia?” and Flora can’t bring herself to answer without lunging for Corrin’s throat so she leaves with a quiet “pardon me”. She knows Jakob must’ve told her what happened when Flora leaves Felicia’s room to see Corrin bowed before her.

“I’m so sorry,” her hair pillows on the ground where her head is downturned towards it. “I didn’t realize Felicia would do something like that.” Well she’s not the only one, Flora thinks bitterly. She hates this. She hates  _ her,  _ she hates Corrin. She hates that she can’t hate her when she is apologizing so genuinely. All the conflicting feelings churning in her head make her sick. “Corrin,” she says plainly, Corrin raises her head. She can tell she’s puzzled by the lack of formality. Flora has been nothing but professional.

“If Felicia dies because of this, do I have permission to kill you?”

She can tell Corrin’s perplexed by the question, shocked even. It’s only after she registers the open faced expression does she realize the magnitude of what she’s just said. Her face burns with shame. “I’m s-sorry, I-I don’t know what came over me, please forgive me,” she bows briefly, scampering to the other side of the hallway. What was she  _ thinking?  _ Getting herself executed wouldn’t be of help to anyone, not to her tribe. Keeping to herself her hatred was one thing and openly expressing it was another. She was going to die and leave their father childless. She only stopped when her sleeve pulled her back. “Yes,” Corrin’s eyes locked onto hers, wide and sure. “I give you my permission.”

She swallowed, nodded, and left.

Felicia wakes up just fine soon afterward.

Corrin never mentions it again and neither does Flora.

She’s not sure why it changes, the equilibrium. They wake Corrin up the same as they do everyday, she shines when she meets Flora’s eyes. It’s infuriating. She goes to train with Xander as she does frequently, and that’s when things begin to change. When they are finished, Flora awaits to greet them. After their fight session the other royal siblings convene as well. They are to visit King Garon. She tries not to show her disgust. They are all so very delighted to visit him, Corrin seems excited to simply be allowed outside the castle. Gunter tells her she will remain here with Felicia. She feels a slight pang at Jakob’s separation but it is greatly overshadowed by Felicia’s presence at her side. Her side, where she can watch her.

Everything changes rapidly and without warning.

She hears of it briefly through rumours, passing gossip in the hallways. “Lady Corrin’s been captured by Hoshido.” Whispers told to her by maids she’s only ever seen once before in this humongous estate. “They say she’s going to be executed.” Flora smiles, then, serves her right. If only they could kill the whole royal family while they’re at it. She misses her home. She misses the snow and the cold. Felicia approaches her, holding the blankets Flora requested, inquiring as to why the hallway is suddenly so freezing. “It’s nothing to concern yourself over,” and they go about their work. Felicia holds her stare for only a moment before sighing. She knows her sister. And her sister will tell her nothing.

The day Corrin turns traitor is a busy one. She hears gossip first, Corrin’s not dead after all. Flora clicks her tongue. Not only is she still alive, but she can apparently turn into a dragon. Flora stops at that, though she’s not  _ too  _ surprised. With those pointed ears, slitted red pupils, forked tongue, and long sharp nails, she’s surprised no one suspected Corrin of being not quite human sooner. “You know they’re saying the Hoshidan royals are her blood siblings,” they say. “King Garon took her as a child.” They continue speaking until Lady Camilla walks through the hallway and an older maid yells at them for slacking off.

Camilla enters Corrin’s room and she doesn’t come out for hours.

Not long after, Felicia sneaks out in the middle of the night.

And so, Flora is left alone. Again.

She tells herself she doesn’t mind (Felicia’s  _ safe,  _ their father’s  _ safe)  _ and continues her normal duties until King Garon has her summoned to Castle Krakenburg. In his presence she cannot grasp how anyone could call this man father. His eyes are so empty and cold the chill under her skin does not even compare. Even as he threatens her tribe, she is glad he has given his orders so she can leave. She never wants to look into those eyes, and cold, dead skin, ever again.

Macarath has suffered from the war just the same as the other cities, but it is brighter here. The resistance in Cheve is strong and large, but it is not the case for Macarath. The people are quieter, they pretend they don’t see the soldiers on the street, and they carry on. Business is not as good as it once was, but that does not stop them from gambling and dancing. If they were to lose it, their only source of joy, she thinks they would be just as powerful as Cheve’s resistance. Or maybe their will would become just as broken as hers. She won’t be staying long enough to find out.

The Palace Macarath is large and cold, chilly air drifts in frequently from the windows and the floors. She waits and sleeps fitfully. She misses Felicia. She misses Jakob. Most of all, she misses her father. She doesn’t think she’ll survive this war. Felicia would make a good chieftain. Their father has always loved her more. When they finally arrive she is expecting them, Iago appears in the room she’s been staying in with little warning, simply saying, “They’re coming.” When she stands up he is gone and she can hear Corrin talking to a voice she doesn’t recognize.

She almost breaks down in tears when she sees Felicia.

But she can’t let her resolve crumble.

She  _ can’t. _

Their brother is sick. Anyone can tell that simply by looking at him. What she tells them are not entirely lies, everyone  _ was  _ sent away, and she  _ is  _ happy to be away from King Garon, but it still leaves a bitter taste in her mouth. She has never considered Lady Corrin or her company any sort of a friend but the lie falls out of her lips as easily as any truth. She pretends not to notice the affection in Corrin’s smile, the relief in Felicia’s eyes, and the gratitude in the Hoshidan’s voice (she avoids Jakob’s gaze altogether, he has always been able to see right through her). “Thank you, Flora. You may be saving my brothers life.”

She wraps her arms tight around her middle to quell off the nausea.

Iago makes his appearance immediately afterwards, he’s always been a fan of a theatrical entrance. “Ah, dearest Flora.” Just hearing her name spoken by his disgusting tongue sends chills down her spine once more. She doesn’t even have to pretend to be insubordinate, the hatred from her tone is so very genuine. He knows it too, because it makes his grin split wicked, and he hits her far harder than he would need to. She would tear out his jugular with her teeth given the option. She implores Corrin to run when Iago hits her again with scorching heat, the last thing she sees is Corrin’s tightened fists and Felicia’s ponytail swinging behind her. She welcomes the dark with open arms.

When she awakens two foreigners are looking over her.

They smell . . . odd, but it is a good smell, something like what she imagined flowers might smell like. She has always dreamed of visiting Hoshido, flowers have always been just pictures in books. But the chance was never there, and it never will be, so she will continue to web ice petals between her fingers in the snow. “Flora, are you alright?” Corrin gives her an expression of such genuine concern Flora has to avert her eyes. The word “traitor,” causes her to flinch but no one seems to notice and distinguish it from her pained quivering.

She can taste something like guilt in her mouth.

Takumi falls to his knees just as soon as she stands up. She wonders if this fever is not just another of Iago’s machinations. She supposes she won’t ever find out. The healer princess (Sakura, she says is her name as they apply salve to her brother’s forehead) is quite small. Flora finds her to be rather like Lady Elise. Perhaps they might have been friends, in another life.

Takumi sleeps soundly when they are done with him, she tugs at her collar and clears her throat for what must be done. If anyone notices her acting odd, they say nothing. She’d sort of been hoping someone would stop her. She poses the question in a way she knows Corrin won’t refuse (she is too polite, too easily manipulated). But she doesn’t expect Felicia to show support to the idea. She should have, she knows, Flora is not the only one who misses home. “Ooh, this is exciting! I’ve always wanted to show you my home village, Lady Corrin. Remember how we used to dream about this, Flora?”

Her throat closes up.

“Yes. Yes, we did . . .”

Corrin clings to her arm as they make their way up the mountain, frost biting at her nose and the tips of her ears. Flora laughs a high pitched squeal that sounds all but bitter to her own ears, she tries not to notice Felicia beside her holding Jakob’s hand. Something envious inside her snaps when Felicia speaks, she just barely manages a sincere apology. Corrin takes it in stride as a normality (she must be slipping, snapping at her sister often enough that others notice), bemusing once more on Iago’s words. Flora pretends not to hear or notice Corrin’s cold and clammy hand slipping into her own.

She couldn’t have escaped from that hold any quicker, throwing out some quick lie about talking to the elders. The sooner this is over, the better. She need not say a word before the Ice Tribe soldiers gather behind her. Felicia’s goofy, toothy smile when she returns hurts her more than any physical pain possibly could. “Felicia . . . I’m sorry.” The blizzard that comes from inside her is perhaps the most tumultuous one she has ever produced. Felicia’s begging does not deter her, it is something she prepared for. Jakob calling out her name however, is not. She hasn’t heard him directly address her for so very long. Of course he would only do so with Corrin’s life endangered. She wonders how Felicia garnered his attention.

“What is wrong with you?”

Perhaps whatever twisted form of love she still has bubbles up at that. Whatever lonely desperation is still left within her. She knows King Garon will not be merciful (when has he ever) but she misses her sister by her side. “Never!” is what Felicia says to the offer. She’s not surprised, but the answer still stings. “Really? Come on, Felicia,” she feels like she is baring her soul in the hand she offers. “It’s still me. We can do this together!” Felicia practically spits on it.  _ Justice,  _ Felicia says, the path of justice. There is no justice. “I wish I had your strength . . .” She grips the silver blade in her palm. They’ve wasted enough time talking anyway. She can only hope the tribe can continue with her death.

Hoshidans are formidable opponents.

She is far from them, but Corrin’s new brothers quickly dispose of her soldiers. She hopes they make it to her first so she doesn’t have to confront those closest to her. But Felicia is determined to get to her, and Jakob follows her closely behind. Flora throws a knife at her leg as she breaks down crying. She hits the snow softly, staining the white. Jakob retreats with her but she doesn’t meet his eyes. His fury will not sway her.

Corrin makes it her way with haste, unruly hair whipping about her face in the wind. She demands answers that Flora has already provided, claims to know her. Flora almost laughs. “You don’t even know the real me,” she spits the words at the ground, watching Corrin’s expression as it morphs into resigned despair. She thinks she yells about Corrin’s death but it doesn’t much matter when the brunt of her sword knocks her to the ground. If a swift death will not come she will do it herself. She is just grateful Felicia will be safe. Felicia will make a great chieftain.

Corrin speaks with such innocence and ignorance in the ways of the world. As if standing against King Garon was so easy and simple. As if she didn’t have people to worry about. She wishes she could have been as carefree as Felicia, that she might hold Jakob’s hand. Corrin looks at her with such a cautious yearning. Jakob forgives her (how odd, she thinks, maybe he’s grown as a person). “See, sister?” Felicia’s voice is so soft. She wishes she could hold her sister once more. “It’s all over. All is forgiven. Please come talk to me.” She closes her eyes and lets the flames engulf her.

Their shocks of horror and grief don’t register. She is a stain that must be removed, a blemish. You don’t mourn a blemish. Felicia’s measly attempts at magic deflect right off her. The one field of combat she could never quite get right. “Won’t someone bring water?” She never thought she’d ever hear Jakob so broken up. A small part of her is pleased she left enough of an impression for him to still care. Corrin is so desperate, tears rolling down her rosy cheeks. She thinks maybe Corrin is one of the most human people she’s ever met, now. “I finally feel at peace,” and she does. What use is a cowardly traitor who can’t fight. Felicia will do good, no  **great** in her stead.

“You can’t die like this!”

She thinks she might’ve laughed then, if she had enough air. Felicia will make a great chieftain. Jakob will make a great husband. They will have a great kid together. She even wishes Lady Corrin well. There is nothing left for her here that cannot be completed by someone else. So she breathes in, she apologizes, she lets go, and she falls. She does not feel so cold anymore.


End file.
